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Should A Parent Accept A Kidney From An Adult Child or Loved One?

Most parents (or those in need of a kidney transplant) are often reluctant if not strongly opposed to accepting a child’s (or loved one’s) kidney donation. Ironically, adult children and family members already make independent decisions on their own, yet reluctant parents don’t seem to see it that way.

Parents are wired to protect their children. That said, they often feel accepting a kidney from a child is incongruent to their parental oaths and responsibility to keep their loved ones out of harm’s way.

Oddly enough, most parents don’t put themselves in their children’s (or loved one’s) shoes and therefore don’t view their objections as hurtful or harmful.

Parents need to be guided so they can see their opposition to accepting the gift of life from a child is actually hurtful. The hurtful part comes into play when the parent robs the child of joy and psychological gain, which they’d receive from helping a beloved parent live a better and longer life.

To balance perceptions, create a reverse scenario for the parent to ponder. Ask the parent if they’d ever consider donating a kidney to their mother or father if they were in need. Chances are, you’ll hear a resounding “Of course, I would!”

When this is the case, present 2 follow-up questions:

  1. How would you feel if your mother or father disallowed you from trying to save their life?
  2. Could you live with the memory of being prohibited from saving, enhancing or extending your parent’s life?

Putting the shoe on the other foot often allows parents to reframe their need to dishonor their child’s wishes. And, while protecting a child’s medical safety by prohibiting donation, it actually hurts their emotional and physiological health for years to come.

Let’s face it. The child wasn’t asking for approval. They were simply stepping up to serve. Their desire to help is merely a reflection of the loving values their parents taught them –family first, always.

We often forget that the gift in giving is not in the receiving, but rather the joy one receives from the giving. No one should have the power to take that away from the giver.

Donors have said, “If my recipient refused my offer, I’d be robbed of a blessing.” It’s not the receiver’s call to accept or decline. That’s the transplant centers’ job.

So, the next time you hear a parent in need of a kidney transplant refuse to accept one of their children as a potential donor—or anyone refuse to accept a kidney from a loved one—read this article to them, or better yet, print it off and hand it over with endearing smile.

Author: Risa Simon, 2010 (live-donor) preemptive kidney transplant recipient, motivational speaker, inspirational author, patient mentor/advocate and founder/CEO of Simon Says Seminars, inc., TransplantFirst Academy, TransplantStrong, and the Donor-Seeker® Program. For more information contact: risa@transplantstrong.com  or visit: www.TransplantStrong.com

 

 

AST Releases Live Donor Toolkits

living donor toolkit

Are you (or someone you know) contemplating the possibility of becoming a living kidney donor? If so, the American Society for Transplantation (AST) just made your discovery process a lot easier. This just released, the first-ever, Live Donor Toolkit for individuals who want to learn more about living organ donation. From cost worksheets to medical implications, you’ll find it all and more in this comprehensive guide.

Living Kidney Donor Toolkit
The American Society of Transplantation Offers Medical & Financial Information.

This one of a kind toolkit was created to help interested individuals navigate complex questions surrounding financial and medical considerations involved in living kidney donation.

While a reassuring 97.5% of live organ donors say they would donate again if they could, it’s important to learn as much as you can about living donation before considering this extraordinary gift of life.

There are potential medical, psychosocial, and financial impacts associated with donating an organ. That said, interested donors need access to that information, and the best way to provide it would be in a centralized educational format. This toolkit does that and more.

AST’s educational toolkit was created specifically to improve the availability and delivery of quality education for those considering live donation. It was also created to expand living donation messaging to reach those who might consider live donation if they knew more about it. Additionally, this toolkit offers educational content that can be used across the transplant community. 

Described as being housed under two umbrellas, the Live Donor Financial Toolkit and the Live Donor Medical Impact Toolkit offer 10-15 stand-alone chapters each. As an added bonus, the Medical Impact Toolkit includes chapters written for both provider-level and patient-level comprehension.   

Here’s a sample list of chapters in the Medical Impact Toolkit:

  • Hypertension in the Living Donor
  • The Obese Kidney Donor
  • The Living Donor Who is at Risk for PKD
  • Donor Surgery – Post-op Complications
  • What is the ESRD Risk for Living Donors
  • Psychosocial Risks of Living Kidney Donation
  • Pregnancy Outcomes after Live Kidney Donation
  • Living Donation in Paired Exchange 

Here’s a sample list of chapters in the Financial Toolkit:

  • Lost wages due to recovery time
  • Missing work from the evaluation
  • Using up vacation, holiday, and sick days
  • Concerns that the employer might not support a person’s absence from work
  • Transportation for testing, surgery and follow up care
  • Travel, meals and lodging expenses  (out of town donors)
  • Related caregiver, child care, elder care, pet care costs during recovery

Click on the toolkit image below to learn more: 

Information Toolkit For Living Donors
AST’s Live Donor Toolkit Navigates Financial & Medical Questions Regarding Living Kidney Donation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more information on how to share your story, increase need awareness and potentially meet individuals who might be interested in learning more about living kidney donation and/or becoming a living kidney donor for someone in need, visit: www.findingkidneydonors.com